• cpallon

Does it really matter if we are liked or not?

Just see what reaction there is to that question?

What might it free up if we weren't orientating ourselves around how others see us?

I asked a group of friends this recently, we closed our eyes to imagine, to feel into it, and such aliveness came through.

Especially as women, trained to fit in, to please others, to be liked, the conditioning is powerful and deep. I'm not suggesting we need to do the opposite, its never 'either, or' or 'right and wrong', its a willingness maybe, to stay open, to be curious, to venture away from habits and shadows. To wonder, to never stop wondering, with the heart, and with a freedom from the tight minds hold.

Then maybe also, a freedom from the competitiveness that comes when being liked or not and measuring ourselves against others, is operating in the system. Maybe we will stop putting others 'up' or 'down', maybe there is just more room, enough room for other ways of being with each other to come alive?

More space to feel into what does really matter between us, when we loosen the trying to be something else for another, or (and this one is more subtle, tricky and deep rooted) when we stop trying to be something for ourselves.

Maintaining a view of our self is exhausting and trapping. Slowing down, being patient with what we find, being understanding of our patterns, risking ourselves, letting go of how we want others to see us, letting enough fresh air in there, then what?

Really, what might lead the way then, what sort of connection might happen, how close could we really become to each other?

We are a companionable animal, lets find our way back in there, lets find out what happens when being liked or not is not taking up so much effort and energy.

You might be suprised what becomes possible and free.

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